Living or Existing???

Are you Living or Existing?   


Whatcha mean 'Lik?

Over the past few months, I have been talking via e-mail about several different topics, from basketball, relationships, politics, wealth, character, economy, so forth and so on, but it all revolves about life.  Life - "your existence".  So I started to think...what is God's will and purpose for my life?  How many of you know that?   God has a will and purpose for each and everyone of us, but OUR WILL interferes with that sometimes. 

Maybe I am over some of your heads with this or you don't see it that way, but most will agree or somewhat agree they have 'thought' about their purpose in life.  Why am I here?  Until one can admit it and take it to the altar for GOD, how can God help you overcome it?  How can God help you figure out what you need to do with your life?  It can get lonely.  I guess this is when faith comes in.  I am not saying that you should quit your job and move to the Himalayas and eat leaves all day, but honestly, what is GOD challenging you to do?  Do you know what God wants from you?  Have you asked HIM?  If God wants you to do it, do you have enough faith to believe HE will encourage and sustain you through it?  Or....are you trying to do it all on your own?  

The WORD says in Romans 5:3-5 "....suffering produces perseverance; perseverance (produces) character; and character (produces) hope.  And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out HIS love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom HE has given us".

I urge each of you to find why you exist. Hard thing to answer, but you gotta do it. Why God has ordained me with this career?  Why has HE given me this knowledge/those degrees and what do I need to do with it?  Why did HE placed me in this family?  Why did HE lead me to met this woman or man?  Why has HE given me opportunities and thoughts that are confusing to understand?  Find what God's will is for your life and seek empowerment through that.  Live your life...a righteous life where God will be proud to say...."you have finished your course, my good and faithful servant".  Your Life is key for your existence.  Master it.  Be honest and answer this question.  Are you living or existing?  Try to L. I. V. E.....Live In Victory Everyday. 

I know I am trying to.....

JUST A FRIEND.......

Whatcha mean 'Lik?

Scene....Lunch in my office.

Female I was dating:  "Who are you Instant Messaging"?
Me:  "My friend"
Female:  "A friend...who?  A girl or a guy?"
Me:  "A girl"
Female:  "A FEMALE?!?!?"
Me:  Yeah, one of my sistas....a...
Female:  (interrupting)...you don't have any sisters!
Me:  She's a good friend.
Female:  (rolling her eyes)...You have too MANY female friends!!
Me:  {silence}

The old question:  Is a platonic relationship between two people of the opposite sex possible?  Can a man and a woman be good friend and leave it at that or would one of the person's want more? 

A constant debatable question.  I have heard and present arguments for both sides - why it CAN work and why it CAN'T work, but this time I am going to just present the facts.

When a male and a female set out to converse with one another and become friends, more than likely there was a buffer.  Whether they hung out with the same crowd, attended the same school, had classes together, worked together.....something....it was a buffer to draw them close - to develop the friendship.  It started out as talking and just hanging out.  After a while like any friendship, the conversation increases, time spent together, common interests are formulated, and wha-la...a "friendship" is formed.  Here is where the SHIFT occurs and a LINE has to be drawn.

Whether it is the female or male, time spent together with the opposite sex, SOMEONE is going to catch feelings.  Just natural.  If there is no physical time spent together, the friendship can remain just that.  However, in my opinion, once you open the door and share intimate/emotional details about one's life with a few laughs and shoulder cries, SOMEONE is going to catch "feelings".  That's emotional....that is a budding "love affair".  You see like Faith Evans said.."Love is Blind".  One person can see something in a relationship/friendship unbeknownst to the other person.  It can come upon you and not even see it.  One sided love/emotions will ruin a friendship.

Let's stop right there though and back up.............

Remember I said earlier, if you draw the line in the beginning, these feelings can be stopped.  I believe that.  When one of the people in the friendship understand and CONTINUOUSLY REPEATS....this is not going anywhere or I have a man/woman or I just like who you are as a person nothing more...then the friendship can flourish.  BUT...the moment you add more time, increase in phone calls, late night texting, going out every weekend and then some during the week, the game changes.  Time together changes things.

A punch to say hi...then that punch will lead to a long stare....a long stare will lead to a hug....a hug willlead to a cheek kiss....a cheek kiss will lead to a lip kiss....and like Rakim said in "Mahogany"...you know how far a kiss can go..."messed around and missed the show!!"

I think again a platonic relationship can occur if it is understood and time spent is limited, but even with that one of the parties will ask that question....WHAT IF???  They may not say it out loud, but they are going to think it.  Don't be naive girls and boys.

So with me, I limit my dealings and time spent with my single female friends.  I don't want to have those "thoughts".  Most of my "sistas" are married or in relationships.  That helps.  The ones that aren't, that I have not drawn the line with or in a 20 mile radius, I don't spend ANY TIME with.  A phone call here, a text there, and email on occasion and that is it.  No TIME.  Women I spend time with, I want something to go further with.  So my female friend I mentioned above, I tried to secure her with that notion, that "she's just a friend", but sometimes women are going to think more no matter what.  Why?  Because women know other women and normally women want what they can't have (that is another blog).

So in my book, platonic relationships can exist, but it will be a lot easier if the man and woman are straight-forward from jump.  If it is not communicated CONTINUOUSLY, one individual is going to say, they love you and really REALLY mean it and that awkward moment is going to occur, causing a dissolve in the friendship.  Once you cross that line....She's/He's NOT just a friend...........

A Miracle - The TICKET that SAVED my LIFE

A miracle is an extraordinary occurrence that is divine in nature.  We ask God daily for miracles in our prayers, in our desires, and in our wants, and GOD will truly grant it to you, if it is HIS will for you.  However, a lot of times, we do not view these things as "miracles". 

When I first experienced and truly understood GOD's miracle working powers was when I was in need of a blessing and utilizing sin to obtain it.  I was struggling financially to come up with money to move into an apartment.  I had to repair my vehicle.  Furthermore, my daughter was just born 6 months ago and I was dealing with the extra expense.  I was invited to North Carolina to a business meeting for an investment club meeting.  They wanted me to join the group, but honestly I was not in a position to be a part of it at the time.  However, I went and attended anyway. 

After the meeting with the group, the men of the group decided to go out to a party.  We ended up at a party like no other.  It was a strip club to put it mildly.  Some would call it a brothel where men were paying to "date" women.  However, the highlight of this establishment was not the women, but they had a raffle going on.  You bought a ticket for $5 and they put the other half in the bucket and whomever ticket is pulled wins the raffle.  They key though is that gambling at the time was illegal in North Carolina so it had to be a game of skill.  I bought two tickets, one for me and one for my friend.  Well, I "prayed to GOD" to let me win because YOU know how much I need this money.  I was struggling financially and this money would help.  At that point, a calmness covered me.  Something said in a voice..."you gonna win".  I NEVER heard a voice like that before.  Basically a "chill".  At that point, I became distracted by the women in their birthday suits.  About a hour later, the raffle started and they started calling the numbers.  When they called the first number, I already knew I won.....and guess what I DID.  The prize pot was for $795.

Like I mentioned earlier, it is a game of skill and I had to get on stage and put the ticket in the right bucket.  In the beginning of the game, they indicate which bucket you have to put the ticket in.  I was not paying attention for looking at the women and ended up putting the ticket in the wrong bucket.  I was devastated.  I was hurt.  I felt like fainting.  My friends told me I only lost $5, but in my mind I lost more.  I lost hope.  I lost a dream.  A need.  A MIRACLE.......

I went back to the hotel and cried.  My girlfriend at the time tried to console me, but I was not hearing it.  That morning she woke me u p and she said we are going to church.  I said I did not want to go to NO CHURCH.  She said we are going and I obliged.  We arrived just in time when the preacher started to give his sermon.  He started preaching from the book of JOB.  How Job was suffering and lost so much, but he never cursed GOD or stop believing.  At that moment, tears started to roll down my face.  The preacher was talking to me.  I felt like Job.  I was weak.  I just started to cry and scream out.  The preacher called me up to the front and started praying for me.  He prayed..."you are gonna WIN with GOD; HE is going to provide a MIRACLE in your life".  Again, that same "chill" I felt from the strip club came over me again.  Labor Day Weekend (September) 2000, I gave my life to Christ.

I called my mother and told my friends about what happened.  I came back to Virginia still struggling and facing the same issues, but this time with a spirit of strength and encouragement.  The next week, I got a letter in the mail from my Aunt.  It was a birthday car.  I was like why is she sending me a birthday card.  It read:

Happy Birthday!  Remember the day; mark it down.  When you stand before Christ, December 25th (my actual birthday) will be insignificant.  The most important date will be the day that you were born into HIS eternal family.  Satan will attack but just keep telling him that he is a liar.  You know your Father.  I love you, I'm proud of you and YOU DID NOT PUT THE TICKET IN THE WRONG BUCKET!!

After reading the card, I looked inside and there was a check for $795.  MIRACLES do HAPPEN my friends.  It is just how you look at it

I am reminded and thank GOD....for the TICKET that "SAVED" my LIFE!!!!